I am a stubborn person and I tend to be vindictive. So, if someone or something really upsets me I cut it out of my life as much as I can. Today my vindictive side caved to my hungry side when I saw Chik-fil-A. I have never been fond of their ultra-Christian business model, but I liked the food and it was convenient, so I was willing to put my feelings aside. When it came to light that Chik-fil-A was openly funding anti-gay legislation I decided to stop eating there on principle. The subsequent brouhaha of the company apologizing and promising to change, and then not changing their behavior sealed the conviction for me: no more Chik-fil-A. I avoided anything to do with the restaurant for an entire year, even though it is literally across the street from where we live.
I took the kids out to run errands this morning, and as we headed back home my stomach took over control of my brain. Running errands with children on an empty stomach near lunchtime is not a good idea, especially when you have a lack of kid-friendly food staples on hand at home. I knew that I wasn't prepared to handle the children without something in my system, and getting them in and out of the car again was not an option. Before I had finished my thought process, a massive craving hit me and Chik-fil-A was the only thing I could think about. So, my conviction was tested and I failed. The chicken was good, but not as oh-my-god-delicious as I had remembered. Given my feelings on their ideologies and the lack of yummy deliciousness that I had anticipated, I don't think that I will be going back anytime soon.
I feel more rational now that my hunger has been satiated, and I am a bit disappointed in myself. The lesson that I need to take away from this is that I need to get my act together and be more prepared. If I'd had good lunch options at home, if I'd taken the kids out earlier in the morning, if I had a stronger will. If, if if. I hate to admit that this is a pretty standard pattern of behavior for me. I pretend to be organized, but get overwhelmed with life and then things like grocery shopping and cooking get pushed aside. Every time I have to toss out a piece of food because it has gone bad I feel horrible. When my husband has to pick up dinner on the way home from work because I haven't planned ahead, I feel even worse. This is definitely a problem in my life that I need to solve. Since I have extra support this summer in the form of my dad and sister staying with us, I am hopeful that I can finally change my negative pattern. Planning, shopping, and cooking with fewer kiddo distractions should make my job a little easier. Maybe it will even help us to eat healthier, and a lower grocery bill is always welcome.